A Player's World

As a 22-year-old single woman I’m pretty much living in the thickest part of the modern hookup culture – perfecting the art of getting the right guy to buy you a drink at a bar, crafting the perfect response to a text to make you seem just interested enough, taking the proper five seconds to adequately judge a person and determine whether or not to swipe left or right on Tinder. That’s the world I live in now and I have to confess: I hate it with every fiber of my being.
Maybe it’s because I let insignificant events ruminate in my mind far past their welcome. Or maybe it’s because I react too sensitively to the people with whom I share the world. Or maybe the modern dating scene is just horrendously fucked up. It’s probably all three, but in the interest of, well, maintaining your interest, let’s just talk about that third observation.
While I was in a relationship some time back , I heard people complain about the single life all of the time. Stories from my friends, articles on the Internet, anything popular on television, it’s everywhere. But it wasn’t until I began to experience it for myself that I truly understood what everyone was complaining about. Everything is so damn complicated. Nobody asks you out on a date; they just ask you to hang out – so after you do, you can spend the next three days that you’re supposed to be ignoring them wondering exactly what it meant. Did you see a movie? Go to dinner? Fly to Paris and get drunk under the Eiffel Tower? Be careful; you guys were just hanging out. It was just casual, right? I don’t know, I wonder what he’s thinking. What did our "date" mean? I have a simple solution for those of you who struggle with these haunting questions: ask the other person. Oh wait, you can’t. Hahaha. And here’s why.
We live in a world where people are afraid to feel anything genuine, or at the very least, are afraid to show it. When someone is angry with you, there’s no phone call asking to talk about it. Instead you get a passive aggressive response to a text message or a suspiciously relevant subtweet, quietly calling you out in 140 characters or less. If you like someone, you don’t tell them how you feel; rather you act interested enough for them to pick up on it, but not enough to freak them out. Don’t like it? Too bad. It’s all a big game and if you don’t play by the rules then you lose, and if you lose you end up alone and drowning in a pile of your own insecurity, wondering what you did wrong.
Don’t ask to hangout two nights in a row. If you texted first last time, you have to wait for him to text you first this time. Don’t double text. You can’t assume anything is more than casual, even if you’re having sex.
 But you can’t talk about it either. If you’re wondering where a relationship is going and you decide to bring it up, every word you say has to be carefully chosen so as to seem okay with any response you’re given, even if you’re not. Everything is done through texting. It’s weird to call someone in the modern world just to have a conversation or try to make plans, so we’re forced to wait anxiously for a response that might not ever come.
Everything is calculated to appear thoughtless, and it is one of the most exhausting games I’ve ever had to play. I could earn my masters degree with the amount of time and energy it takes to determine whether or not my casual hookup actually has feelings for me.
If I like someone, I want to hang out with him. It’s as simple as that. Or at least it should be. But in the dating culture to which we are enslaved, it has to be more convoluted than that. If I talk to him too much, I’m needy. If I’m always free when he asks me to hangout, I’m clingy and have no life of my own. If he takes three hours to respond to my text, and my phone is in my hand when I get his reply, I have to wait to answer so I don’t seem too eager. And I am constantly wondering why I play these stupid games.
Why can’t I call someone because I like talking to him? Why does showing I care make me needy? If I act angry when a guy blows me off, I’m just a crazy bitch, so my only other option is to complain to my friends and wade in anxiety until he finally texts me back. And let me tell you something; I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want anyone to have that power over me. No one should have that kind of power over anyone. I am so tired of living in a world where apathy is more effective in getting someone’s attention than honesty. I’m tired of the manipulative games that men and women play with one another in an effort to maintain control in a relationship that we’re not allowed to define.

So here’s my idea: let’s all stop being little fucks. Respect other people enough to tell them the truth. If someone makes you happy, tell them. If someone inspires you, tell them. If you’re not interested in someone, please just fucking tell them. Don’t ignore people until they disappear. It’s time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and cryptic social media posts. Everyone is human and we’re all just trying to understand one another in this messy dating world, so stop treating a relationship of any kind like it’s a challenge to complete. Be honest with other people about how you feel, and don’t get so lost in playing the game that you forget to extend that same courtesy to yourself

By: V. J Limo

SEX AT HOME

"Send me a photo of your nipples" the other man sent her a message on WhatsApp.
She walked to the bathroom. Locked the door then strapped down her night dress. Took a photo of her breasts then sent to the other man.
"Tomorrow you will get to touch these" she texted the other man.
She got out of the bathroom smiling then got inside the bed where her husband was.
Tomorrow she will be going to finally meet the man she's been flirting with. This man has promised her great sex, sex out of this world. She complained to the other man about how her husband is weak in sex, a one minute man. This other man promised to sex her real good.
She was excited. She really wants sex. Good sex.
This other man sent her a picture of his penis.
She held her phone close, saw the penis picture.
"Who is that?" Asked her husband.
"It's Karo. She is confirming that we are going for a kesha at her church tomorrow night" she told her husband.
It was a lie. She is not going for a kesha with Karo tomorrow, she is going to meet up with the other man in a hotel to have mind blowing sex that no one has to know.
"Let me text her to tell her I will meet her at six in the evening" she lied to her husband.
"Say hello to her" her innocent husband said.
"OK" she said.
"That is the biggest penis I have ever seen. I can't wait for it to slide and cum inside me. You are making me hot. Keep him warm for me" she texted the other man.
She placed her fingers between her legs. She had shaved. Ready for tomorrow's sex.
Her husband started touching her, leaning towards her to kiss her and make love to her, his wife.
She pulled away. Denied her husband her body.

"I am not in the mood" she said.
"I love you" her husband said and turned the other way and slept.
She felt a sting in her heart.
What is she doing?
She has turned into a liar.
Her marriage is falling apart by her lusting after another man. How is she to work on her marriage if she is focusing on the penis of another man? She stared at the wall. She couldn't sleep.
So tomorrow after she has mind blowing sex, what next? This man wants to sex her even if it means cheating on her husband. He just wants sex, nothing more. How many other women is he sexing and sending pictures of his penis to? If she gets pregnant, he will not want to be a father. This other man doesn't even care about her dreams, her fears, her children, her future, her relationship with God. All he wants is her vagina, butt and nipples. He doesn't bother knowing her heart. Her husband on the other hand is the sweetest man in the world. He married her. Is a great father. He is loving. He supports her. Strives to make her happy. Thoughtful. Good looking. His sex may not last long but he makes her feel loved. She has a good husband.
She cried. Asked God for forgiveness.
She picked up her phone. Deleted the penis picture on her phone.
"I can't do this any more. What we have been doing is wrong. I love my husband. I will not cheat on him. Do not contact me any more. I want nothing to do with you" she texted the other man and blocked his number so that he can't call or text her.
She switched her phone off.
Removed her night dress.
Took her fingers to her husband's nipples and started rubbing them.
Her husband woke up.
She took her fingers down his penis.
Removed his penis from his boxer shorts.
He started getting hard.
"I want you" she whispered to his ear.
He got really hard as she stroke his penis.
She sat on him and made love to him.
When she sensed he was about to orgasm, she stood up and showed to him her breasts.
She then gently came down on her bed, laid on her back.
"Make love to me" she requested.
He got up and went on top of her.
They made sweet love.
She made him relax and he lasted longer. She helped him hold his hardness for longer.Sweet orgasm, they both had. That was the sweetest pleasure they have ever had as husband and wife. She has never felt that good before. They had learned each other's body better than before.
"I love you" she told her husband.
"I love you too" said her husband.
"I really love you. Thankyou for being such an amazing husband" she added.
"You are in a good mood" her husband said smiling.
"I am a blessed wife, that's why. I have decided to stay at home tomorrow night. I will stay at home and pray with you and our marriage. Let's have a kesha as husband and wife" she said.
"I love the sound of that my love" her husband said.
They kissed and slept peaceful and happy.
The greatest sex is not outside your marriage, it is at home, with your spouse. The kind of sex that comes with love, joy, peace, fulfilment and no regrets.

By: 

Winny Knight

LETTER TO A PROSPECTIVE COLLEGE STUDENT

Good grades you got……… congratulations for making your high school experience count.

Now, I know you are kind of excited and confused for a task lies ahead, that of choosing a college that is right for you. This is doubtlessly one of the most important decisions you will ever make. You want college to be challenging, exciting and at the same time memorable, to grow intellectually, spiritually and socially. In short, you want college life to help you develop the potential that God has given you.

Brace yourself for this can be confusing as well as difficult. Questions that linger in your mind now are around these; whether to select a small college or a large university, closer home or far away, reside on campus or be a non-resident, public or private institution, secular or faith related amongst a lot more.

To answer the above, it is important that you have basic knowledge about the colleges that you consider attending. The beauty of this is that there is always a college available for you that meets your needs. My role is just to offer guidance as explained below:

1.       Academic quality

You need be very careful in finding out this for it is the basic reason for attending college, to increase your knowledge and acquire the background skills necessary for your future. One of your major concerns should be centered on the academic excellence of the college or university you will have as the choice to attend.

Regional accreditation is one of the clearest assurances of this basic academic quality for colleges that do not meet set standards are not anywhere close to accreditation. Quality means you will be assured of proper academic training that will help prepare you for a rewarding and productive life. You need a college that supports academic quality by promoting continuous professional development of faculty members and administrators that enable them serve students effectively. The sizes of classes and the kind of personal attention that promotes inquiry and discussion is important in aiding you receiving quality education that you want and need, so does the college meet these?

2.       Teaching

Believe me, you need be taught, the college must be the kind that stresses teaching whether certificate, diploma or degree. Of course professors at colleges continuously conduct research and publish articles but their main duty and concern is to teach or rather lecture. Your lecturers must endeavor to know your individual interests and needs in as much as they get to realize this through the assignments, seminar papers and presentation that you will be tasked with.

Great colleges and universities have strengths such as graduate education and research, but for at least four of your undergraduate years in college, you want to be certain that the college of choice is one that sees your education as its top priority.

      3.       Beyond the classroom

What happens beyond that class are equally crucial, you need be more than just lecture rooms, laboratories and libraries. The fact that a college is relatively small provide a real community where students know one another well as individuals and faculty and administrators have concern for each student. Such relationships help cultivate positive friendships and fun that are important to your development in college and to enjoyable life-long memories. Yes you have the options of either being a resident or a non-resident but the resident option adds a special dimension to your college years. It helps learn much about people who make up the world; how to stand firmly on your own convictions and yet get along with people who think differently. As a resident student, you will have many opportunities to help others with needs and in turn be helped by them in addition to active participation in clubs and societies. Activities do run the gamut from planned social events to late night talks with fellow students from musical performances to athletics competitions; and from a wide choice of clubs, committees and other involvements in campus organizations to volunteer service projects. 

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Open Letter to all ladies out there

Being a well behaved girl with good morals and above all hidden in Christ these days isn't exactly easy. You work hard, 8 to 5 and sometimes late into the night only yo bump into this group of girls with no jobs but they have the latest clothes,shoes,handsets,hairstyles,dine at the finest places each day

.....they say to me, sometimes in whispers and in other days shout out loud,.............

"with your looks I don't see why you choose to struggle , work hard when you can find someone to finance your lifestyle."

 I sit down to ponder over this, I discover I can never be that person who depends on anyone else for my upkeep. My parents taught me better, I discover that I believe in true love, a treasure so rare, can never have that with someone else's husband, and for the record, believe in karma. In future some young girl might snatch away my daughter's husband, that I cant put up with. 

So, I say a polite "No,thank you, I am good!" and keep hustling hoping that karma does actually exist and that lightening will one day strike these shameless girls to death!

Go out there girl, show the world what we are made of, we definitely can do better than them...........


With Love

Big Sister.

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